Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
