OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
