I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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