dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
