no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
