he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
