Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Watching her eat just hurts me
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize