Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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