did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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