rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's rum buckets o'clock
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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