dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
