Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
