Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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