Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
