I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
