no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
