you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
