yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
