didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize