i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
