tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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