Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
