I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
3 2 1 whiskey
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
