I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
