Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
