Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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