Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
