I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She even gives head with a lisp.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
