well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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