I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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