just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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