The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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