stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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