She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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