There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
