your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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