Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
