I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
babies were throwing up all over the place
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
