So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
