So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
