I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize