I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
