Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
