So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
