Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
