its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
