I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
