Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
