its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ugly people sure do ruin things
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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