Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
