Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
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