We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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