been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
