i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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