Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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