Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
