need another drink. this is the easiest way
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
