He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
