why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
