I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize