I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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