I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
