no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
