On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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