She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
