yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
