my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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