i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
