Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
