We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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