Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
