her vagine was all disorganized.
Its about making memories worth repressing
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
