halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
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