If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
