Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
