Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
